I hope you have found some things that work for you since you posted this.
I don't have bipolar but my partner has bipolar, so while I can't answer the first question, I'll address the second from her perspective and the third from my own.
My partner takes Lamotrigine and finds it works really well for her. In the past they have tried to double her up with an antipsych as well (things like seroquel, abilify, etc) but has found them largely unhelpful; however I've heard many people do find them helpful. It's kind of a crapshoot really. Respiridol is another one she's tried although didn't care too much for that as it made her have absolutely no energy all the time.
As for people not getting it...unfortunately that's the bane of mental illness. Well, one of them anyway. Most people will never understand until it happens to them. They don't get what it's like to hear about symptoms and don't believe or can't believe or won't believe that it's really the way you say it is. I have the same problem still, even after being on disability for mine. Because I can string two sentences together people think I'm too smart to be sick - including psychiatrists, if you can believe that horse hooey.