You're right, of course, that no one else can save us; it's one of the lessons of growing up. But a good T can let us borrow their strength while they guide us to rebuild ourselves.

I'm concerned that your mood swings and how they result in impulsiveness is more than you can handle; and perhaps more than your T can handle. It sounds like your school has a rather minimal health safety net--no services in the summer, Deans very involved, your own T being an intern who will leave. I was a graduate student at a Big Ten school when I started therapy. The school's health services (medical and psych) had the highest possible accreditation. There were @ 20 Ts, several PhDs, and 2 pdocs. And I was doubly lucky that my T was the Director of the Psych Services and had a private practice that I could transition to when I was no longer a student. I didn't know when I started how important those conditions would come to be for me.

I think it would be well worth it to have a discussion with your T about getting you settled with more permanent help. You vacillate between recognizing how badly you're feeling to being in denial about how serious your problems are, depending upon your mood. Such wild swings need to be addressed, probably with a pdoc, before you're going to be able to make progress. The fact that you're SH just makes everything more precarious.

I agree with Chris that you really don't have the luxury to keep diving into denial, both because of the SH consequences, and the external consequences from your school. Thinking that you will die before a hospitalization because of your mother's reaction is frankly nonsensical. If you die, you don't get the chance to live after your mother is long dead and buried. She's a temporary impediment, and your ultimate solution is permanent. You may think that is a viable option now, but that's your illness talking. And if you keep listening, at some point, that choice will likely be taken out of your hands.

Your T, simply by virtue of her relative inexperience and time-limited internship just isn't enough for you. Keep seeing her for support, but enlist her help--or someone else at your health service--to set you up with highly skilled permanent services.