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Sep 18, 2013, 10:13 AM
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Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: yada
Posts: 4,415
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Originally Posted by growlithing
The problem is that I have no money to see someone outside of my T. I know she is way too inexperienced to handle the intensity of my problems, but she is willing to try for no additional money outside of my tuition. I don't know how I could pay for another T without my parents finding out because I am still on their insurance. I'm also probably not going to live here very long if at all after I graduate. Two years is the longest I can guarantee seeing anyone.
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Then it may be time to enlist the involvement of your Dean with your parents. You don't have to explain or justify or blame--just have your need expressed. The request would be coming from the school, not from you. I doubt that your parents would be willing to be seen as negligent to the Dean. They would probably threaten to cut you off, stop paying tuition, but I doubt that they would follow through because it would reflect so badly on them.
Worst case, if they did, you will qualify for aid. Massachusetts has a very, very generous safety net.
Speculating 2 years into the future is pointless; it has no bearing on now.
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The school needs more emergency health support. I can only have an emergency a few times a week at specific hours in order to get help. I always have class during those hours too. But the school is outrageously small so I don't really blame it.
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It's not about blame, but rather that this system can't meet your needs.
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I don't think my mood swings are really that extreme. Maybe they are to someone who only sees some of them, but I don't chronicle the transition very well. I get triggered fairly easily since footsteps set me off and then swing the other direction very quickly.
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This sounds like denial to me. Footsteps are a huge trigger that has set off hours of SH. It seems like you switch moods in the space of a paragraph at times.
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I don't think I'll die before hospitalization. I don't want to die. I just don't always want to live if that makes any sense. I know going to the hospital is fairly likely at this point. I just don't know how to avoid it
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I get not wanting to live; but it's passive SUI. That doesn't make it any better, nor mean you're more stable. The SH in this context is flirting with SUI. Going IP for a while may not be a bad idea; it strengthens your Dean's case for alternate care, for one thing. And you can get a fresh assessment from a pdoc and stabilized.
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