Quote:
Originally Posted by feralkittymom
Then it may be time to enlist the involvement of your Dean with your parents. You don't have to explain or justify or blame--just have your need expressed. The request would be coming from the school, not from you. I doubt that your parents would be willing to be seen as negligent to the Dean. They would probably threaten to cut you off, stop paying tuition, but I doubt that they would follow through because it would reflect so badly on them.
Worst case, if they did, you will qualify for aid. Massachusetts has a very, very generous safety net.
Speculating 2 years into the future is pointless; it has no bearing on now.
It's not about blame, but rather that this system can't meet your needs.
This sounds like denial to me. Footsteps are a huge trigger that has set off hours of SH. It seems like you switch moods in the space of a paragraph at times.
I get not wanting to live; but it's passive SUI. That doesn't make it any better, nor mean you're more stable. The SH in this context is flirting with SUI. Going IP for a while may not be a bad idea; it strengthens your Dean's case for alternate care, for one thing. And you can get a fresh assessment from a pdoc and stabilized.
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There is absolutely no way we'd qualify for aid. We don't need it. The problem is solely that my parents would be obnoxious about it. They'd mock me for it like they did the last time I went IP.
I HATE the hospital. I made no progress there last time because I was literally constantly triggered. My mom is a doctor,
I can't handle being locked in a room, and I HATE being away from my music. It makes me EXTREMELY anxious like you have no idea. I'm not flirting with SUI because tomorrow, I have rehearsal. I do exponentially better when I am back in music ensembles. I know all of this sounds like I'm in denial. Denial has kept me alive this long.
I saw my pdoc yesterday. He gave me a fresh prescription of ativan to help with dealing with triggers. I'll get that filled at some point today, and it should help