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I HATE the hospital. I made no progress there last time because I was literally constantly triggered. My mom is a doctor,
I can't handle being locked in a room, and I HATE being away from my music. It makes me EXTREMELY anxious like you have no idea. I'm not flirting with SUI because tomorrow, I have rehearsal. I do exponentially better when I am back in music ensembles. I know all of this sounds like I'm in denial. Denial has kept me alive this long.
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So your thinking is that IP is profoundly disruptive for you. This means that keeping yourself safe, protecting yourself from people sending you there involuntarily, is an exceedingly high priority.
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I saw my pdoc yesterday. He gave me a fresh prescription of ativan to help with dealing with triggers. I'll get that filled at some point today, and it should help
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Good work! This type of constructive step is what is needed. Taking charge of your future, rather than allowing your parents to implicitly or explicitly block the possibilities.
For example, I recall you stating that you arranged to be away from your parents for Thanksgiving. That is another constructive step that you arranged.
Think seriously about T. If you begin to think that she isn't enough, then talk to people about other possibilities. For example, you mentioned that someone at your school proposed DBT. Consider looking into that idea seriously and seeing what you think.