Hi everyone.

I've been going through an extremely difficult time in my life and I could use the support. I have had a few poor experiences and I'm doing everything in my power to try to move on and heal. But these thoughts and feelings are very pervasive. I know that this seems like a pathetic display of self-pity but I'm really trying to change! I'm determined and I will not give up on myself or my happiness.

I've grown to react to other people a certain way.
I've done my best to learn a new way of reacting.
I'm still trapped and alone with these thoughts.
I found myself closed off from everyone.

I know that I am not perfect. I am only human and I make mistakes just like anyone else. But that does not make it okay for me to be mistreated and insulted. I'm severely learning disabled and I struggle to express myself. No matter how many times I've been called retarded, stupid, lazy, useless, and that I should just kill myself already and go away, I still continue on. I'm at peace with the fact that I'm stupid and I do not hate myself one bit for being how I am. There's nothing wrong about being the way that I am today and I am worthy of consideration and thought.

I've tried to move on but I'm stuck expecting to be treated poorly by anyone and everyone.