After reading your post I would never thought of you as retarted or stupid. I think you will find PC to be a very supportive place. A place that you can feel safe from being called names. I think you will like it here. Just look around and post when you feel you have something to say. Soon you will start to know people and make friends. I think it is great you are determined not to give up on your happiness. I'll look forward to you posting.