I haven't cut in two weeks. And I miss it. Randomly I will feel like I've lost a friend, and I feel so pathetic about it. It was never my friend, it wont ever be, it's just a coping mechanism gone wrong for me. But I went so long without friends that rituals became those friends. Like my OCD, my anorexia. It's so sad, messed up and twisted to even think about.

Ugh, I hate myself most of the time. I don't know how to not miss it.