Ohhhh I feel for ya! I was in the same place not to long ago. I was beating myself up for all sorts of things and really was looking at my life under a microscope. I have moved past a lot of it now and so much of that has been due to choosing to not repeat mistakes of the past, actively trying to bring more positivity into the world, and finally, radical acceptance (Dialectical Behavior Therapy approach to acceptance of difficult circumstances). I have been practicing radical acceptance actively for nearly 10 months now and it has become more and more easy for me to not hate myself. I have learned to shift my attention away from my crappy past and move into awareness of this moment. I have even tried to approach hope for the future, too.

So, you are not alone. I have plenty that I can be ashamed of, hate myself for, fear that others dislike me (this fear is still with me though : (...but I am try to move forward...I don't want to be stuck. One foot in front of the other is what I tell myself.