Hi (((((((((((((((((Tomi))))))))))))))))))...

One thing I wanted to mention that you may have (or will) notice, too, is that your grief about Neil, (as mine was with Karl), is more 'pure' than other losses/grief we have dealt with.

No love/hate, guilt, abuse/forgiveness, etc., mixed in - just 'pure', spiritual honoring of the gift of who they were and tears at letting go type grief. I know I still 'enjoy' (I know, wierd word), thinking about Karl, whereas thinking about other deaths, like that of my Mom, makes me feel 'mixed' and more 'comlex' emotions that aren't ever really comfortable or comforting. Even the grief bursts at the beginning are more 'pure' and can be experienced fully and with an open heart.

Hope this makes sense - sometimes I don't always get things out quite the way I mean it, and this particular thing doesn't even lend itself to mere words...

Even my initial intense grief over Karl's death had a pure beauty about it that I look back on and feel good about now - like there was beauty in the work of the grief, that again, is so very different from the complex struggle involved in grieving the death of my Mom.

XOXO, Jillers

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>