I just feel as though so many people have given up on me.

My best friend of 18 years no longer texts or calls me (she's moved 30 or so minutes away) even when I ask how she is, etc. I am not a clingy person. I'll text, see if she has texted back, then shrug it off and be quietly annoyed.

My parents just seem to be shrugging me off these days. Because of the pain, I can't reach certain things (despite my height. I'm weak) and when I ask for assistance they roll their eyes or sigh. If I am crying from pain (which I never do) they act like I am just the most horrible person. When I just need someone to help me up and down the stairs, it seems like I admitted to committing a murder. I had surgery not even a week ago and my dad wants me driving and shopping for the family when I was told by my doctors to be CAREFUL. And what do you know, I pushed myself and I ****ed up some of my stitches. I just hate this feeling because my mom and I were so close. Now it's like I am just another burden.

I just feel so unimportant. I put my heart and soul (what's left of it) into everything. Whether it's helping my parents, being there for my friend, etc. I would take a bullet for them. But it's like they can't accept things are different.

If it were my sister in my position, my dad would be going insane. Asking her how she is, if she needs anything, helping her. He doesn't even remember when I have doctors appointments.

I don't matter. I never did in this family. Not really. All my friends dropped me, soon my only friend locally will, and I will be alone.

I hate myself.