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Seth412 · Sep 18, 2013, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ultramar

I'm in the healthcare field and deal with blood, guts, death, dying, all and sundry.

I generally cope well, but have had on occasion ended up in a bathroom stall crying; even a few seconds tends to help and I'm basically able to move on. Whatever works. As healthcare professionals we can't show our emotions, not really, and I think this can be both a blessing and a curse.

I am actually generally better at removing myself emotionally from others' pain than dealing with my own; I'm good at compartmentalizing and I actually think this is important in what you will be doing (and I do). I naturally, at this point, keep a certain distance, I kind of have my own poker/concerned/empathetic face that I put on when needed. It's sounds cold, maybe, but it allows me to feel the empathy, but not so much that it overloads me.

When I feel the sadness breaking through my barriers, I tend to try to remind myself (and sometimes repeat to myself as a mantra) that "this is worse for them" and most of all "this is about them, not me" and they need me to be strong, so I can do my job, and so that they can grieve (or be in pain, or whatever) without worrying about their providers, while being able to count on their providers to be there for them, without their own 'stuff' getting in the way.

But as I say, I have closed myself up in a bathroom stall to cry, though this is rare. When a child with cancer I had been working with for about 6 months died, I balled during the better part of a therapy session. There is also a beautiful "Healing Garden" in the hospital for patients with cancer (and their loved ones) which is a good place to escape to. Maybe you'll find a place you can 'escape' to if and when it comes to it.

Aside from all of that, it has been hugely helpful for me to talk about it with colleagues, to 'debrief' in a way. They 'get' it like no one else in my life can, and can handle the gory details I may need to get out. Though I would choose wisely who you turn to on such occasions: I've found that some people prefer *not* to talk about such things, and cope in other ways, which is important to respect. But with time, you'll get to know the colleague(s) you can count on to listen and commiserate when you need to talk about it.

I'll end with that I occasionally deal with the severely mentally ill in the course of my work and although perhaps I am able to be more empathetic than some of my colleagues, it can also be triggering. Deep breath, "this is about them, I need to be able to help them." Unfortunately, though, in the healthcare professions, you will come across those along a spectrum of misunderstanding to outright discriminating against the mentally ill. When I don't feel I can reasonably do otherwise, I let it go (sorry), other times, I gently remind them of the humanity of those we treat, the pain they are in, and that they are "x", not 'crazy!'

Good luck in your journey towards becoming an EMT -it's such a wonderful profession!

Wow! Thanks for the response! That was enlightening. I've received some excellent feedback on this post.

I believe I have at least two personality traits that would actually be an asset, in spite of my mental illness. First, I am fairly good at removing myself from a situation emotionally. I can sort of detach myself, if you will.

Second, I am a perfectionist (thanks, OCD!). When I do something, it must be done right and well. If it is not, I am not happy. I'm constantly critiquing myself about what can be done better next time. I believe that should I become an EMT, with experience I will become an excellent one.

Just curious, what is your diagnosis?