I'm sorry I am not so much fun to talk to because I don't make progress and I just come on this site in a disaster state and cause a complete scene. You people must think I'm completely crazy. But it means so much to me that you guys keep talking to me. There are two sides of me. The side that is funny and energetic and then there is the side of me that is self loathing and deeply unhappy. I have to suppress that side of me because people only like me when I'm funny. But I can let the sad part of me talk and you people still seem to care at least a little bit and no one invests that much effort into trying to help me. I'm usually not worth fighting for. No one is in favor of that. Sometimes people just collapse and stuff

I hope this made any sense. I took some ativan and the dose might be a little but too strong. We'll see I guess