I understand your concerns about psych meds I really do ... But I think you have to look at the short term.. You pop on and off your meds all the time.. that is certainly not helpful for you right now.. your up and down, alot.

Maybe an option is to go ahead for now and take meds to even you out then you will be able to learn real coping skills and learn how to actually apply them when you need them.

There are many members here that are med free and doing really well ... But they have all worked there ***'s off to load up a toolbox with every coping skill they can find and are still adding more any chance they can. Most have made huge changes in there life , diet , exercise, all kinds of things .

I think its all about making informed decisions about what you need now.

I hope you are able to find workable solutions to your unique issues.

Good luck.