All of my friends are getting married and having children, and me? I'm almost 30 and I've never had a healthy or lasting relationship. For as long as I can remember, the only thing I've ever wanted was a good relationship. You don't know how confusing that is when you're 12. But I'm so incredibly toxic in relationships. I'm a great friend, but a terrible boyfriend. I don't think I'm really meant to find "the right person." I don't think she exists. But then why would God put that desire in my heart from such an early age?