Amelie10 - thank-you

Pfrog – I know, sad thing is I'm so different when not like this.

Medical fox- I can't concentrate enough, min. seem like hours, I almost broke my ceramic fairy last night trying to paint it, my husband had to pick it up and move it while I was trying to work on it.

C- love you, I know we both are really good mom's. Sometimes it's just so hard to remember when your trying to keep your child safe from yourself. I'm doing good at it though, always have been good at it. I have yet to yell today, I think, I even helped him with math. I think my husbands surgery through us both off but he's almost completely healed. The scary thing is he plans to go inpatient next Wednesday meaning most likely if my crap doesn't change I'll be admitted also.

C, I'm trying to drink the pedi-lyte, but it's hard especially when it tastes so nasty. I'm calling the dr. tomorrow to make sure I'm not just in the low range of normal. If it is in the low range of normal I am not taking that medication. Hopefully that will stop a lot of arguing.

Now good news, I was calm enough to help him with his math work, had my headphones off most of the day, I'm not nearly having as violent thoughts. I had cake w. dinner.

I do want to make it clear that Miguel is safe, I have never and will never lay my hands on him. I am not allowed around him alone when I'm like this anyway. His dad and a cousin is caring for him. Most of my yelling is directed at my husband which is futile because he refuses to engage in any argument when like this.

I am getting parinoid that the AP is making me gain weight even though I'm only taking half 25 mg. Every other day. When do you think I can stop taking it because it's a PRN? T wants it to be an all the time thing.

Medical fox - I read that article too. That's why I'm calling to see if it's just really low normal or actually really hypothyroidism. If it's low but within normal then I will not take it. If it's lower then that I told my husband I'd talk to my pdoc about whether to continue. I've had an ED in some shape or form for 22 of my 30 yrs. My viibryd does make me hungry but it has been made very clear I eat the amount of a toddler