Yes I worry. I worry a great deal. Not just in therapy either but in IRL too. I worry that I'll disclose too much and they will respond with disgust or revulsion or disdain or something like that. I worry that some disclosures will alter things irrevokably and there will be no going back to the way things were...

The answer?

For me... I think it is about trust, yes. But then I think it is also about trusting wisely. Trust is kind of a process, I think. You take a little risk, the person pulls through. Then you get the courage to take a slightly bigger risk etc. Sometimes they don't respond as we need / would like them too and then one can back off a bit... Maybe talk about it or something...

But yeah, I hear you. One of my biggest things is that I really am unacceptable. If someone gets to see some of the real me, some of the stuff that is inside, then they will feel disgusted and repulsed by me.

Sometimes it can be about fear of rejection if we have been rejected in the past. Or if we have been picked on a lot or if our thoughts and feelings have been invalidated then we can come to see ourself as unacceptable.

I'm reminded of the saying 'nothing risked nothing gained'. It can be important (and helpful) to take small steps towards trusting... But it can be the hardest thing in the world. Hang in there.