Hi, I've been experiencing a condition that is really debilitating me, and I terribly need to get some things off my chest. This is going to be fun.

The past two weeks have been a rollercoaster. Experiencing a Migraine for the first time can be a really scary event, mine has been no different. Waking up with a panic attack for no reason, with your heart pounding, face numbed, and muscle spasms is not my idea of happy.

I have called 911 three separate times to have the paramedics over (once to have the police over), and the symptoms I gave them for migraine just weren't ringing any bells; couldn't go to ER because my parents would not allow it. I even saw my family doc, and he couldn't pick up on the migraine symptoms either. Had a self-centered dentist pull a savable tooth because I thought an infection might have been the "root" cause of the pain (pun intended), prescribing me antibiotics and pain meds which gave me awful side-effects.

In spite of all this, I've managed to disturb whatever peace was left in the family, and have seen humanities' true sides. I look at everyone with complete and utter disgust; dirt, to put it kindly. My parents have been totally misunderstanding of my condition, thinking that I was mentally crazy, to the point of threatening to send me to a mental hospital. There is no way in HELL that I'll be sent to a mental hospital for a condition I know damn well isn't psychologically related. I will kick and scream effing bloody murder before that happens, and then they'll really think I'm crazy!!! The icing on the cake? My grandparents suggested that I get on Disability, what an incredibly stupid thing to suggest.

It was only until recently that I, myself, discovered that it was a migraine, and it was only at that point, that things have started to make a whole lot more sense. I would also say that it has helped me cope a lot better than before. Everyone had been telling me--stay off the computer!!--don't diagnose yourself!! Well look at me now b****es, I'm coping fine now and it's all thanks to nobody but THE INTERNET and my search skills. Oh how the irony just kills me inside.

If I'm awake and not having a migraine, I'm sensitive to noise (Hyperacusis). If I'm having a migraine, my Hypervigilance will kick in; and all my senses become amplified by double. Any psychological "triggers" cause a migraine or cause it to worsen. My body sees unanticipated noise as a trigger, and my parents wouldn't understand this if it hit them in the face, using the "we live here too" mantra can get old really fast. They couldn't be bothered to do any research of their own to understand what a "trigger" might be, or what it's like to be "hypersensitive". I am so disgusted by their stubborn attitudes.

I've only been getting 2-3 hours of sleep at a time, waking up with a migraine nearly every time. In my sleep, it appears that I could be waking up at the REM stage, possibly with low blood pressure counts, and my teeth (may) be biting down too hard. Once I'm awake, I'm up forever it seems. Drinking Vitamin C seems to help calm the migraine down pretty well, also putting something cold on the back of the neck. A warm bath and shower helps too, of course none of this really matters--because as soon as I fall asleep, I'll awaken with a migraine once again.

I have an appointment to see a neurologist 5 days from now (Tuesday), but this appointment is taking forever to get here. The receptionists can't get me in a timely fashion, it's all a gameshow to them. They have all responded to the emergencies I was having as if it didn't even matter. I am expected to wait at least 2 weeks for any hope of an appointment or DIE LIKE A B****. It's sad, and frustrating doesn't even come close to describe it.

I'm exhausted. Throughout this whole experience, I have been totally alone, which is a normal feeling for me. I'm as lonely as they come.

When all of this is said and done, I want to get away. I can't trust anyone, not anymore.