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Originally Posted by Beyond The Pale
Hi everyone. It looks like a very active community you have here. I hate being the new guy because it makes me want to crawl away and hide! I was diagnosed 22 years ago after a suicide attempt. I continued with self destructive behavior for several years after, but finally met someone and settled down. After 20 years of marriage I am once again dealing with the demons from the past. After years of copeing and suffering in silence, the death of my father has me reeling. My mother committed suicide when I was 9 and my father basically abandoned me afterwards. So there are a few things I need to deal with, especially after finding and reading my mother's suicide note. I just recently started seeing a therapist and finally told my wife last night that I have BPD and what the characteristics are. This came after a massive fight where she told me she "walks on eggshells around me". So I'm in for a lot of changes in the next year or so as I try to really deal with my issues instead of hiding behind masks.
Thanks!
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Welcome to PC. Hope you find help and support here like many of us do. it is indeed very active and there are quite a few people here including me that can relate to much of what you deal with as a person with bpd
Change is good but at times as you already probably know, is painful and challenging. We all go through it but in the midst of the change/challenges it's always hard to see that the result will be worth it. Keep that in mind in the next year and beyond and keep your eyes on the goal.
I've been through a lot in the past 18 months and in no way am I all better but I do know now that I've grown a lot and learned much. I'm more mature now and even though I still deal with the symptoms and traits of the disorder, I cope a lot better than I did and usually know what to expect when an "episode" (for lack of a better term) is coming.
Good luck, stick around and I think you'll find a lot of help here!
S4