you're also in diff. type of therapeutic support right now as opposed to other times, maybe?

sometimes when working on past....even if no direct connection to what pops up it can make things pop up that we thought we had put away, conquered, dealt with or were over with.

we've utmost belief in you and your ability to stay safe. that's not pressure. just sayin'.....

and it might be unusual for you as you wrote but we don't think it's that unusual at all....then again we sometimes see ourselves in pieces of your journey shared here and we forget this isn't us....it's YOU.

p.s. thoughts are okay......might be scary and disruptive but all in all thinking about something and taking action on it are two separate things. thoughts are thoughts. sharing those thoughts might be new, might be scary but if sharing helps you from action on thoughts that would have negative consequences then share yer heart out.