Hey, Alexandra and Rapunzel. Sounds harsh not letting someone know whether they like you or not but I think your T does that Rapunzel because of what Alexandra brings up; there's a difference between "feeling accepted" and "meeting someone else's expectations." We're not here for the other person, only for us. They can't make us "feel" better about ourselves, only we can do that. Only we can feel accepted and it has nothing to do with whether the other person does or does not say they like us. The goal of therapy is not to "win" the therapist's liking/love, but our own. Other people are like "weather" in the sense that they are "out there" and yes, you put on a raincoat and carry an umbrella when it rains, it affects you, but you still go out and do whatever you want to do. I think your therapist Rapunzel is saying the same thing, not that she doesn't like you but that her saying so or not is not the important part. You're both "there"/It's raining out. Just like you wouldn't mention the rain, you'd just adjust, the therapist liking you is like that.

She wouldn't work with you if she didn't "enjoy" it; you can't pay people enough to do something, to basically sit all day and listen to others talk, if they hate doing that. Think of a job you would find distasteful/not like. Could you do that all day for months/years at a time even if they paid you well? No, you'd have to quit soon. Therapists do have clients they like better or not as well as others but it's like friends you have or even children but if they can't work with a client because they don't like that sort of person, that person in particular or kind of work, they don't! They refer them somewhere else. I just "accepted" my T and that she was there to help me and got on with it. Therapy is your work, the T is there just as a kind of advisor of sorts, along for the ride. It's not her life you're looking at or trying to understand/change and she's not in your life other than once a week or so as a consultant. One of the quotes that helped me the most during therapy was: "Your therapy should be the most important thing in your life but it is not the most important thing in your therapist's life." That put it in perspective for me; my therapist has a whole life out there different from mine, with her own wishes, hopes, dreams, problems, and dramas but without me in it :-)