UPDATE!!!
THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO THOUGHT ABOUT ME!!!
Seriously, I appreciate it more then I am able to express.
I suffered a major psychotic break of the suicidal variety. It was very serious and I won't detail the gore of my attempt on this post for fear of triggering anyone. However, it was considered an escalation of previous attempts and so I was sent to a treatment center instead of into crisis management "holding cage". Now, I know the difference.
Anyway, it has been a very positive experience in spite of some of my lingering concerns and anxiety.
I received a new diagnosis, which I had been very resistant to. Also, I was put on two new medications, both of which I swore I'd never take. I was of the mind (what a sick mind?) that by taking these types of meds, I would lose control of myself and who I am. What I know now is that I was never in control anyway. Sigh
That's not easy to admit!

New Dx: BiPolar. (Yeah, I'm joining that forum too)

New Meds: Klonopin .5 2X/day for anxiety
Risperdal 2mg/day mood

I don't know much about the diagnosis or the meds.
Any further help would be greatly appreciated...

I am feeling better now & I see my T tomorrow & my PDoc Tuesday