Hey... I'm still not sure...

I know it is part of the Western ideal that every man (and woman) is an island and how other people relate to us should make no difference to our own sense of self worth etc etc...

But the fact is that we are social beings and I'm fairly sure that the majority of people do a lot better in life if they feel like other people support and like them.

But I do understand that that might not be part of what a therapist thinks their role is...

I do wonder about the 'neutral stance', though. I mean... I do think it is worthwhile for therapists to say 'why is it so important to you that I like you' and to really process stuff... But then I also think that quite often the neutral stance is perceived as withholding, cold, aloof etc. I don't know. I'm just kind of reminded of some conversations I listen in on on another board... There are a bunch of people struggling with therapists who take a neutral stance and the people really struggle with why they feel so cold etc... And there are a couple people who have therapists who will process first and then say 'yeah, i like you. i really admire your strength (or whatever)'. and that latter approach... Well, I think there is something to be said for it and I much prefer it.

It is like: 'Yes it is okay for you to care about me. Yes it is okay that I am important to you. I understand that you are taking a risk and I respect that'. That is what I would take from that. Is that that bad? I think it helps to trust etc...

But I dunno. Everybody (and every therapist) is different no doubt...