good question ...
there seem to be a lot of different definitions and meaning including those you referred to with affective and cognitive; and also a number of people confuse empathy with sympathy
we can recognise that other people have feelings and acknowledge those; and as you said there is also that idea of
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putting yourself in some else's shoes and understanding how they feel
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but someone else can never really be in your shoes and often their best guess falls way way short of what the experience is like for someone
I can say I understand something of how someone feels; but if I took that further and explored the feeling further with them ... we might find that my understanding doesn't match their experience. While at other times, our understanding may be much closer, and expressing this seems to help the other person
Not sure how much understanding is needed for someone to be empathetic though
I do know I get frustrated at times when someone says they understand completely (rather than with a degree of understanding) or empathise totally when they clearly have no idea what I'm talking about
