Thank you all for your replies. Its not nice to know that it can last forever, but at least I know that I'm not alone in this.

In addition to PTSD, I suffer from chronic, intractable migraines on a daily basis. 80% of my days are spent in the dark. Although there are multiple triggers, and several tests have been run, I believe that my PTSD may also play into it.

I've considered going back to therapy, but can't get myself to do it. I saw several in my twenties, and all were bad experiences. Betrayal of trust, misdiagnosis followed by medications that were inappropriate, threats of being committed if I did not continue taking meds that were making me haullicinate among others.

These days, I spend several hours a day working with biofeedback and meditation. There was a time when I couldn't sleep unless it was under a mattress leaning against a wall with the back against another wall so I only had one opening to protect. That i've gotten past, but not the need to be in a small area. With the migraines, I have to sleep in a recliner because lying flat makes them worse, so its good that I'm not longer under a mattress tent. I try not to relive the years of living in a dangerous place. Under the right circumstances, that can trigger suicidal thoughts. Sometimes I feel guilty reacting to an old situation when there are soldiers who were in much greater danger and subjected to sights no person should ever have to see.

Sam2