Have any of you developed a fear of change related to PTSD?

That is a huge problem for me.

I thought it was just anxiety but my psych mentioned that it was a symptom of PTSD and when I think about it it does make sense. I am always waiting for something bad to happen and always afraid of being helpless again. But that still doesn't help me get over it. In fact it's getting worse.

I thought of trying EMDR but I would have to change therapists and I just don't think I can stand going over all the old history with someone new. I'm very depressed also and this doesn't seem like a good time to stir things up. And that would be a change...and that's what I am afraid of!

I've worked on my own and with a therapist that used REBT but I am very discouraged.

Edited to add I also have a lot of shame about being treated for PTSD as I know a lot of people have had worse experiences than me. But I think I was biologically vulnerable and it just effected me way out of proportion to what actually happened. And it has just snowballed out of control.