It is kind of cliche to write about remembering how much life one person can squeeze into their lifetime... but from your description of Neil it sounds very much that he was very happy, under circumstances that could have been very limited. He was very comfortable in his life and was lucky to have a great partner and a long lasting relationship. Society makes that so difficult to do. Some people preach "tolerance" but "tolerance" implies judgement, it implies negative judgement and then surpressing that judgement rather than getting past it.

I am sure your acceptance of him, rather than tolerance, was a large part of him living a happy life.

It was also a great life lesson for your children... no matter how they grow up and what their beliefs--everyone is entitled to their beliefs--that others should not be judged, as judgement leads to hatred and hatred destroys civilized society. It also taught them early on not to fear what they don't understand, as fear leads to anger, anger leads to hatred, and hatred leads to... well see my other post. But I think that applies very strongly here.

You were obviously very lucky and appreciative to have such a good friend in your life, as he was to have you in his.

It may be cold comfort to try to appreciate that he chose a path of happiness and fulfillment for his life, but it does give you an opportunity to harbor many happy memories of him, and to keep him alive in your mind. No one can know 100% what happens to our souls after we die... but memories like these are the surest proof of at least one form afterlife exists.

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--http://www.idexter.com