It's been quite a long time, we had several failed friendship attempts in the process of moving on. Before this, I was afraid, lonely and depressed because of him. Couldn't really do well in school. I raged at home because of the extreme pressure and unfairness of it all. It really sucked. Couldn't stop crying for months, and he kept hurting me. The break up was initiated by me, because I couldn't handle a serious relationship. I was too immature and didn't want to carry on, so I broke up early. After many months of ups and downs when we attempted to be friends, I snapped under all the stress and left and cut contact with him, which was unfortunate because I still had to see him at school...now we're friends, sort of, and yeah.. i have to keep a "civil face" until the exams are over and we don't need to see each other anymore....it's the most bitter thing I'll ever have...that hate/love feeling is just so messed up, and it's going to ruin my life..

But if I don't be friends with him it's going to be super awkward and terrible at school..i'll have to be stronger and smile it off for a few more weeks...