Wow. So his feelings are affecting his ability to do therapy? Then he'd better get his *** to a supervisor and straighten that business out. That is NOT your problem, nor is it right or fair for him to let you have it in session. Even if you "broke the rules" by texting or whatever, he needs to find a better way to enforce those boundaries than by being angry. I'm sorry you are in pain over this.

That said, maybe CE is right, ten years is a good long time, and perhaps there is a limit to therapy. Maybe, especially since you are in relatively fresh grief over the loss of your mom, a brief break and a visit to a different T would give you a renewed dose of empathy and a kind shoulder, free of baggage, to cry on. Doesn't mean you have to permanently can your present T, but maybe a little break and someone to see you with new eyes would be a good alternative to fighting for his attention during this difficult time.