hi henrydavid,

I really get this.
I have felt this myself, many times. Maybe we haven't felt the same things, for all the same reasons, but I feel there must be enough overlap somewhere to have a common ground.

That being said- with all you have expressed, I think it is understandable to want to create some pretty heavy boundaries when one is hurting.
To make a wall, create space.

I always want to create some protection and ensure that those sore spots, the wounds that have been created, won't be poked at or even accidentally brushed by those who might have the best of intentions.

So it makes perfect sense to step back.

I would say, though, perhaps be careful that you are not entirely stepping OUT?

Don't burn your bridges, don't make moves where you are cutting contact forever...

I know what it is like to be in a position where you feel, as you suggest, that you have reached a sort of breaking point with reaching out, that you've given up on people.

And that is how you feel now, and I'm not making any suggestion that it's wrong to feel that way.

I am suggesting that you may possibly change your mind at some point in the future.

You may, in fact, be surprised by someone unexpected. You may heal and one day realize you are a bit healthier, or happier, a bit lighter on your feet after taking a breather. A random stranger may change your point of view.
If this does happen, you want to be able to reassess and return to a person or two that you previously had thought wasn't worth it should you change your mind.

I would also suggest maybe...
If you don't want to go out and be personally involved, I can see not wanting to expose yourself personally.
But the thing about social exposure is that it helps us from sinking into ourselves and getting lost.
If you can find your way to a park, to a town square, something of that nature- maybe just sit and think, people watch?
It may seem useless now, but you will be able to observe how other people interact. You will also have specific time to yourself not confined inside.
Maybe just give it some thought?

I'm sorry you feel hurt and raw.
I've felt much the same though there is no way to compare our two experiences.

Please don't give up on the whole of humanity. Maybe just take a breather from them- people can be a bit much to deal with sometimes.

It's ok to have boundaries in this sense- to not expose yourself beyond what you are comfortable.

I hope you find some respite

Be good to yourself.
Josie