Have you tried going to this chat site for support?

CrisisChat - Home

Here is a site that gives a variety of information for those in dire need for support and understanding. Please do check into them asap!
USA NATIONAL Suicide & Crisis Hotlines - When You Feel You Can't Go On... Call a Suicide Hotline. / SuicideHotlines.com - Direction for immediate crisis intervention for the gravely suicidal & treatment for major clinical suicidal depression.

Gentle hugs to you!