NTLF:

Your reason for your T is your own guess... it's a hurtful guess, but ultimately that is all it is. You're guessing your T's reasons because you have seen snipits of T's relationships with other clients. I'm so sorry that you feel hurt, but you will never know until you ask your T about it.

Using myself as an example: When I am out places, I can seem cold or confident or like I am absolutely happy to be single. When I'm actually none of those things. But I carry myself in a reserved yet outgoing way, so no one can tell what I'd actually like.

When we have such a low self-worth, it's really easy to be withdrawn and to display that we don't want or are not comfortable with more affectionate behaviours. It's a horrible self-fulfilling prophecy, because we want it so much but we consciously and/or unconsciously reject it or make ourselves incredibly hard to approach.

Have you ever asked your T for a hug? Why not try it? If you do, then go to the next session after that and ask your T why they've never hugged you before. Tell them how you feel about it. I'd recommend asking them for a hug first, before bringing up the subject. Because then you can't tell yourself "T only hugged me because I said that they don't hug me because I'm ugly, so they're just trying to cover their own butt".