i dont want to sound rude. but it seems you have obviously just scanned my post, and posted yourself. thank you for taking time to read. but there is no "affair" no relationship between me and the other girl.

its more like we really have the same interests. so when i go to do something that is going to be popular in my area she is there because it interest her too. we have dozen of mutaul friends. i have avoided her. I thought i made my choice.

and to be honest i really dont want to tell my wife, for more than one reason. It was her best guy friend that took me out, instigated the threesome, and he is also the one that berated me about doing it after the fact.

If i tell her that she will lose faith in the two people that matter to her. and i thought since he is ignoring the whole thing, that maybe i can and like i said avoid the girl.

now im not saying im not at fault i know it is all my fault and i have come to terms with that. and i have accepted the outcome that i may destroy myself trying to figure out what i need and what i want. as i said above i avoided her and stopped going over to some frineds house because she is over there constantly. i have tried to do the right thing.

my insides feel as if i have thrown them into a blender and hit liquify. i am staying by my wife, and thats not quite the advice i was looking for.

i need advice on how to go about stopping the love. i have done a pros and cons list. (shredded after i was done) and i have thought long and hard about how this is bad for me. and for a week or two at a time i am fine. and then i see her once. and i am overjoyed and distraught at the same time. and if i do what i think is necisary (sp?) then i am going to lose ALL of my friends just not some.

and its not their fault so why should they have to lose a friend over this? this is where i am at.

Do your worst...
UL