Have you talked to him about the way this affects you?

I hate angry sessions. They're awful and I don't cope well afterwards. There was a time when my therapist described herself as being very reactive towards me (to the point where it might have been better to stop seeing me for a month or so, she said). I've seen my therapist for 4.5 years now and I do think that sometimes after a great amount of time, therapists end up showing more of themselves as flawed individuals. Sometimes people are just angry or short tempered, sometimes it really is just all of their stuff, but when that anger is coming from a therapist, it can feel very hurtful.

I was in the middle of one of the worst times in my life when I was dealing with the anger from my therapist and there were all sorts of things that happened that didn't help at all. One small example was when she misinterpreted something I said. She'd told me she'd be away for 3 weeks or so and that she'd see me on her first day back, but when she got out her diary some weeks later, she looked at it for a long time and I knew I wasn't written in. She finally gave me the day after she'd originally suggested. Barely clinging on and surviving each day, I mentioned how sad that made me feel. She got so angry at me for expecting her to come in one day early (she'd clearly changed her mind about the day she was starting back). She talked very loudly over the top of me and her face lost so much expression that for a few seconds I actually thought she wasn't being serious. If I ever thought highly enough of myself that I wanted (but of course never expected) her to come just for me we should probably throw a party. Of course, in reality I thought no such thing (and I guess I never will now)!

They don't always get things right and sometimes their own stuff does get in the way. I'm actually seeing a second therapist at the moment for another reason, but I've really realised that it helps take the focus off everything all needing to come from only one person who is so important.