What you are experiencing is called"hypervigilance"--it happens to me when anyone raises their voice; I instantly go on alert. Abuse doesn't build character it destroys your spirit and being able to feel safe in the world. Have you considered ttheapy? That would be a good place to begin. The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my life. Most abusers rarely admit their abuse; they live in denial; they don't want to think of themselves as abusers. I like the term, "Restorative Justice"--this means.....this is what you did; this is how it made me feel So empowering for anyone abused; it kind of takes back your power that was stolen from you as a child. THe letter is for YOU, not the abuser.
|