Golly...please forgive me, everyone, for taking so long to reply. What y'all have said has meant so much to me, and I'm sorry I have not told you this sooner.

Jon, the reasons I feel the way I do are fairly involved, and I really am not sure I understand those reasons completely. To make a very long story very short, it became part of my internal mechanism that helped me make sense of the world, and cope with things. But, like all other negative coping mechanisms, there is a high cost.

I have been able to recognize the cognitive dissonance in this belief. I don't believe that *anyone* is worthless, so to believe that of myself is illogical. I am working on being able to feel what I know, but I'm not there yet.

Thanks for your words...you made me think, which is always a good thing.

*hugs*
mj

<font color=green> If she spins fast enough then maybe the broken pieces of her heart will stay together, but even a gyroscope can't spin forever</font color=green>