I feel you completely. In a way, it doesn't even matter that I deleted the original message. You probably could fill in your own details and it would be the same thing as mine. No matter how great people tell me I am...even if the praise is coming from people I admire and respect, it still doesn't fill the void. Any accomplishment I make will be qualified by the reason I feel I didn't deserve it or the reason it's not really much of an accomplishment after all.

Graduate from prestigious music school=Oh...the school sucked....the program was easy...they'll let anybody graduate.

Make living as a musician=Well...I'm only making a living playing dumb music I hate

Play to enormous audience=We weren't the headliner so it's meaningless

One of my favorite musicians on the planet compliments me=He's just being nice

Go for a walk while depressed=All you did was go for a walk...it's pathetic that you think that's an accomplishment

Lose 5 lbs=You'll just gain it back...and look how fat you still are

And on and on and on until I just don't want to even get out of bed.

So, when I see that another person is doing better than me, it just makes it all 10x worse.