I tested negative for Lupus, which is both a blessing and a curse.

I went to my RT today and she finally gave me the diagnosis of adults still's disease. Which of course, is rare in adults (it starts usually as JRA). I am going to start on steroids next week and in two weeks go back for a check in.

I am really sad. I can't explain it correctly. My parents have been no help. Telling me they have to live with their illnesses for the rest of their lives to which I replied to, quite bluntly with, "Yes but no offense, you're in your 50's. I am 23.".

No one understand why I am taking this so hard and why it's hurting me. I already feel so broken mentally and now my body is breaking with it. No one is letting me feel validated in my emotions, telling me to suck it up and move on, which I will. Right now I just need to grasp that my body isn't the same anymore. And that's god damn hard.