Being vulnerable makes me feel physically unwell at times, and I remember once after a session where I felt vulnerable and exposed for the first time I felt like someone had poured acid over me, and dissolved that outer layer of persona. I was a bag of nerves walking around, feeling incredibly self-conscious, until it dawned on me that being vulnerable to that extent with a trusted person didn't mean I was immediately vulnerable to the whole world and its mother.

Vulnerability is a difficult one. I doubt I could even say the words (like you, I'm much more able to communicate hard stuff by email) but I've noticed I'm allowing it in little ways as well. Today I confessed a maternal transference that's become very clear in the last few days and fear at the dependency on her which made me feel like I laid myself wide open for her irritation and ridicule and all sorts of hostility. But I did it, and a couple of weeks ago I'd rather have hacked off my own fingers with a rusty blade. Baby steps. We can do this vulnerability thing!