"Don't throw her away." Fair enough, hun. It was actually your username that drew me to your post. It tested my comfort zone/levels. After reading the comments under the meanings

Sounds like you are going to be like a stranger in a foreign land. Are there any cousins that you can gravitate to? Are there means, to just get yourself into a quiet place, to be alone, under a tree in a backyard or anything like that, away from your abuser?
Will you have any online access? A phone app, that you can try, such as a voice activated translator? Have you been there before? I realize your mom won't be there, isn't there, at least 1 relative you can gravitate towards?
Will there be little kids, you can mind? Anything, anything at all so that you aren't feeling as hopeless?

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i have cousins that speak english but they dont like me because after i went through my depression i changed and strayed away from them. they treat me awfully different now and socializing with people like that drains me. we will be in the mountains so i wont have electronics. i will be able to avoid my brother but thats what im afraid of. being so obviously alientated in front of my family when i know they are aware of a time when i was never like this but too careless to do anything. i just dont want to go. i dont i dont i dont, im in a ****** state right now.