Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog
If I understand her description correctly, she means that she would be/I should believe she is supportive, encouraging, an ally, non-punitive, and wanting to act with positive regard to me.
Just typing that out makes me a little anxious. To me, the notion of the therapist being those things is simply awful (that is not the completely correct word, but I don't seem to be able to describe it better).
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Before I started therapy I would have agreed with this 100%. It's not that I didn't want support/encouragement etc, but I had a very particular idea of what that should be in my head and it was always at arm's length, maybe like more of a mentor in the workplace or a supervisor overseeing my dissertation at college - warm and friendly in a way, but nowhere near as emotionally intimate as it's turned out to be. I would have identified very much with what you sometimes write about wanting the therapist to 'stay back', in my own way. I'm obviously pretty fickle in my ideas as I've done nearly a 180 degree turn on this
I appreciate that it could well be much too personal a question, so if so I completely understand, but - do you think the reason you absolutely do not want those qualities from your therapist is because those particular needs are not issues for you, and are being amply met by someone else (a partner maybe?) and so it feels incongruous and squicky for the therapist to talk about them, when they are simply not lacking for you in your 'real' life?