I HATE my birthday! This is really pathetic and stupid but I fear getting no cards which just proves how little I'm liked. I mean, it's a real major anxiety for me and yet it is so stupid, I know it's stupid but I am the same at Christmas re the card thing. My last birthday I told everyone I wasn't doing anything, got a load of drugs and sat in getting high by myself So sad....so pathetic.

Although I want loads of cards to come flooding through the door, I don't like the way it makes me feel, I feel under pressure in some way and feel as though I should see ppl, I don't want to see ppl but I want to know I matter to them by sending me a damn card!
SO no I HATE birthdays! It's just a day to remind me I am getting older, with no real prospects and no one that really cares enough to send a fricking card. Ok, 2 or 3 ppl but that's it.