On most birthdays I feel depressed or anxious depending on the circumstances. I feel like I don't deserve to celebrate so I isolate myself and hardly tell anybody about it. There is no point to tell anybody because nobody will show up anyways. I think I'm more hated in the real world than online, which really says something because I kill every thread I type into.

I think its more of a sign of depression or anxiety than BPD. Or maybe because we have no sense of self we don't know what people are celebrating when they do celebrate it. Usually I would just sit around and get drunk/high on my birthday to help forget about my woes. Last birthday I took some anxiety medicine and ate some pizza with a friend. The rest of the day was spent by myself and nobody from my family even bothered to come see me or even wish me a happy birthday.