So you are concerned that your counselor may not approve of your actions, and generalizing that to that he might not like you because of your actions, right? And not approving of the way you are yourself is probably a big part of that.

My problem is largely that I know that there are things that I do that need to change, but I don't change, or at least not very fast. My T doesn't buy my claim that I am trying, and I'm not showing enough evidence that I am really doing anything about it. I am afraid to try to tell her what I am trying to do about it, because I am afraid it won't be good enough. Sometimes I am just lost and don't know what to do about it. Does any of that sound familiar to you? Do you understand how you need to go about changing your actions that you don't approve of? Are you doing all that you can? Sometimes it does come down to cold hard reality, and being stuck in the same place, and that being frustrating for you and anyone who tries to help you or is affected by it. Therapy is hard, and change is hard, and the only way to feel better is to work hard and do your best. You might want to try talking to the counselor about those feelings.

To answer Alexandra, in my case I think that my T really is very frustrated with me because I have not done enough to change. I keep on making the same mistakes that I have already made. She has wanted to quit, and has told me that she is mad (she said pissed, actually). I think that there is more countertransference involved than she wants to admit, but I really don't think that she likes me, and isn't just trying to remain neutrality. She isn't a neutral kind of person. But it isn't ethical for therapists to abandon clients, and I am determined to work through these issues because I don't want to keep repeating my pattern of making someone mad at me and just disappearing without ever resolving it, so we're stuck with each other for a while. I thought she was less mad at me, and then I messed up again (I hope I'm not doing the same thing now - I tend to not listen too well because I compare everything to myself rather than listen well, and I am capable of listening and need to be since I am training to be a therapist). I just hope that sharing this helps.

Rap