Hmm...

I admire your persistence a great deal.

I guess... Acceptance is important to me. It is important to me to balance acceptance with change. Kind of paradoxical but sometimes I can only change when I feel accepted.

Sounds like you are trying to change. When you say you aren't trying hard enough... Well... What is the mark / measure of 'trying'? Succeeding? If you are trying the same old strategies and they aren't working very well then maybe it is time to change strategy?

Maybe your t feels like she is at her wits end because she doesn't know what to DO...

I had a t like that once...

For me (and you could well be different) but for me...

She didn't need to DO anything. I just needed someone to accept me.

Seems to me like you know you want to change in certain respects. But... Do you really want to change in those respects or is it that you want your t to feel happy and proud of you? Sounds like you are trying and instead of her helping you on the path... Well... I'm sorry. Maybe I'm mishearing or something.