I have BP II and I recently had a kiddo. I was unable to make it med free, so I switched to a single med that was considered safer. It was okay, but a far cry from my regular meds. So I can feel for you on the stress of not being on your meds.

I ended up deciding to formula feed so I could go back on my meds after delivery because I felt like postpartum issues were likely for me and possibly dangerous. Society likes to make you feel like a bad mother for not breast feeding, but it has been a really good decision for me to bottle feed.

I also had a bit of a falling out with a pdoc over my decision to get pregnant. He was horribly judgmental and made me feel like a bad person. He wouldn't rx anything other than an SSRI which he knew and admitted was useless for me. Long story short, he basically said that my options were no baby or a new pdoc. I went with a new pdoc and he has been great and understanding about pregnancy and new motherhood.

If you go back on meds after pregnancy, I would find a new pdoc. You don't need someone who is judge-y about your life decisions.

Good luck. It will be over soon!

EJ