I don't want to steal this thread, but I am pretty confused about where I am with this issue. I think I am trying, but trying doesn't cut it. I don't know what would be good enough. I think that it would be easier if I felt accepted, but then there is the danger of complacency too, so I'm back to being confused. Yes, I really do want to change and not just make T happy with me, but I also really want her to be proud of me too.