I've always had a very bad temper. get so mad I totally lose my mind. I have learned to control it now, but sometimes I still get it. I don't want to do those things but sometimes I completely lose control. I swear I don't want to hurt anybody, but yeah I keep having thoughts like the ones you describe alexandre, problem is I have quite a lot of them and they are very mean.
Fear that I would actually hurt somebody, was one of my main reason for getting help, because I don't want to do that. And I realy believe I could learn since I haven't done anything bad for a realy long time. I'm just scared the psychologist won't think so and just judge me without knowing anything about me. And that she won't realy want to help me becuase putting me in an institution and drugging me is easier.