email from myself to my friend, i couldnt possibly type all these thoughts again..i dont know whats wrong, i just dont wanna be alone..please

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just one more thing i thought i should add since i happen to be experiencing it right this minute and if i go to bed tonight, not looking like it though, but if i do and when i wake up in the day time i'll just blow this all off. but otherwise this is the worst feeling ever. i know im afraid of the dark. like seriously, seriously. like even a flash light, the tiniest light, whatever helps. just dark..no, cant do it. im 18 and i have a night light but that doesnt always help. but i dont know. i dont know if its every night or what, i dont remember. i think someone is coming after me. its the most irrational thought possible, i know. its not true. there is no person thats gonna come after me, but this happens to me and theres no convincing myself this, even now. i know it wont happen but i think it will. i think someones gonna stab me. and even more than that, one of the things i hate most about walking around my house at night, like when im going down the hall, when i have to p *** the stairs, even just in my periphrial vision i see the bottom of the stairs. and i always think theres a man standing there, dressed in all black. i swear i swear. it seems so real. every little creak, every little band in the house, and i think its that person and im so scared.

ugh..idk. i know i sound so crazy, i know. ugh...nvm

i had to say it
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and that was it, i dunno what else to say, i need to go try and sleep. im so scared.