Having a bit of a panic-attack, ATM.
Does anyone stress about the age of someone, particularly someone of the opposite sex?
I get
REALLY paranoid about age, because, ... I don't wanna get involved with someone who is "too young" for me. I stress about whether I will develop feelings for someone with whom I shouldn't, like someone who is too young, or taken, etc. I'll analyze what I say, what they say, what I feel, what they feel, what I might feel, what they might feel, what I think, what they think, what I shouldn't have said, what they shouldn't have said, what I should have said, what they should have said, etc.
I stress about people I meet online, the above applies, but it's also a case of: what if they're a kid? Particularly if you mix the above with this, it's like EEEK! Imagine developing feelings for someone, only to realise they're a kid, or simply, too young for you?
WORST ****ING NIGHTMARE. That's stuff that creeps me out, and makes me very paranoid. And what if I say something inappropriate to a kid? What if I say a rude joke? What if I teach them someone rude that I shouldn't have? What if I curse and they use that in some inappropriate way? What if, ... what if, ... God, I forgot, if it's "what if" then it's probably OCD. I'm just OCD-ing, right now.
Please, someone tell me I'm not the only one with this OCD manifestation. This crap scares me.
My OCD manifests primarily in stuff of a sexual nature, so I obsess over things like the above, and whether I've looked at someone "inappropriately" or had an "inappropriate" thought, etc. It's typically "inappropriate" as the key-word for most of my fears. I'm so disabled by these fears that I find it simply impossible to be anywhere near kids, and struggle with talking to people online and in person.
I'm getting therapy, but it's early days, yet.
__________________
{ Kein Teufel }
Translation: Not a devil
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